"Bayou Bill" Scifres
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Sonny's Fried Cauliflower
Copyright © 2003 by Bill Scifres

ďWhatís that you say, Sonny . . . wait  . . . let me turn up my trumpet . . . I thought you said (GASP!) FRIED CAULIFLOWER.Ē 

You heard me right, Gram . . . you know more about cooking than anyone in the whole world, b-b-b-but I did it, Gram . . . I fried cauliflower--even burned it a little . . . and it was good.

ďHOGWASH, Sonny! Nobody fries cauliflower . . . you steam it . . .  and when it is nice and tender you melt butter over the top, and serve it hot. ď 

No, Gram! I fried it . . . Iíll admit that I steamed it a little first . . . but then I fried it in olive oil in my old iron skillet, and when it was done I fried a few strips of thick fresh side in the same skillet . . . really good, Gram!

ďWell, I swan! In all my born days I never heard of anything so ridiculous, Sonny . . . here give me another whiff of my smelling salts . . . Ah! Thatís better . . . but I still canít believe it . . . I donít know whatís gonna happen to you young folks . . . FRIED CAULIFLOWER?  . . . what kind of fol-de-rol is that?Ē

Iím sorry to have gotten you all riled up, Gram . . . but thereís more . . . now brace yourself . . . I fried a few thick strips of fresh side in the same skillet when the cauliflower was nice and browned . . . and, Gram, I didnít even flour the side . . . just fried it in the same skillet with a little salt and pepper.

ďI canít believe it, Sonny . . . you didnít (GASP!) flour the side . . . this gets worse as it goes on . . . nobody fries fresh side without flouring it . . . that would be sacrilegious . . . Iíll bet you didnít even make gravy to have with the side.ď

No! I didnít make gravy, Gram . . . but when the side was covered with the fryings in the skillet, I sprinkled finely-rolled crackers crumbs on the strips and did the same thing after I turned it . . . Wow! Those cracker crumbs browned right along with the side . . . it was great . . . I creamed some whole-kernel corn and served it with chilled sliced tomatoes topped with cottage cheese.

ďWell, you did something right, Sonny . . . itís hard to beat creamed corn and chilled sliced tomatoes in the summertime . . . Here . . . help me to the couch, Sonny . . . and keep my salts handy . . . I donít think Iím ever gonna understand what makes you youngsters tick . . . in the kitchen or anyplace else.Ē

All columns, essays, and photos are copyrighted by Bill Scifres and may not be reproduced in any form without prior permission from the author.  For reproduction permission and media usage fees, contact: Bill Scifres, 6420 East 116th Street, Fishers, IN 46038, E-mail: billscifres@aol.com

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