ďWhatís that you say, Sonny . . . wait . . . let me turn up my
trumpet . . . I thought you said (GASP!) FRIED CAULIFLOWER.Ē
You heard me right, Gram . . . you know more about cooking than anyone
in the whole world, b-b-b-but I did it, Gram . . . I fried cauliflower--even
burned it a little . . . and it was good.
ďHOGWASH, Sonny! Nobody fries cauliflower . . . you steam it . . .
and when it is nice and tender you melt butter over the top, and serve
it hot. ď
No, Gram! I fried it . . . Iíll admit that I steamed it a little first
. . . but then I fried it in olive oil in my old iron skillet, and when
it was done I fried a few strips of thick fresh side in the same skillet
. . . really good, Gram!
ďWell, I swan! In all my born days I never heard of anything so ridiculous,
Sonny . . . here give me another whiff of my smelling salts . . . Ah! Thatís
better . . . but I still canít believe it . . . I donít know whatís gonna
happen to you young folks . . . FRIED CAULIFLOWER? . . . what kind
of fol-de-rol is that?Ē
Iím sorry to have gotten you all riled up, Gram . . . but thereís more
. . . now brace yourself . . . I fried a few thick strips of fresh side
in the same skillet when the cauliflower was nice and browned . . . and,
Gram, I didnít even flour the side . . . just fried it in the same skillet
with a little salt and pepper.
ďI canít believe it, Sonny . . . you didnít (GASP!) flour the side .
. . this gets worse as it goes on . . . nobody fries fresh side without
flouring it . . . that would be sacrilegious . . . Iíll bet you didnít
even make gravy to have with the side.ď
No! I didnít make gravy, Gram . . . but when the side was covered with
the fryings in the skillet, I sprinkled finely-rolled crackers crumbs on
the strips and did the same thing after I turned it . . . Wow! Those cracker
crumbs browned right along with the side . . . it was great . . . I creamed
some whole-kernel corn and served it with chilled sliced tomatoes topped
with cottage cheese.
ďWell, you did something right, Sonny . . . itís hard to beat creamed
corn and chilled sliced tomatoes in the summertime . . . Here . . . help
me to the couch, Sonny . . . and keep my salts handy . . . I donít think
Iím ever gonna understand what makes you youngsters tick . . . in the kitchen
or anyplace else.Ē